37 Weeks

Today I am at 37 weeks.  I'm due 3 weeks from today.  I'm trying to just relax and remain calm and everything, but I'm not gonna lie, I'M FREAKING OUT!  Not necessarily in a bad way I guess.  I just want her already!  I've washed most of her clothes and all of the crib sheets.  Yesterday I put the crib set in, which is adorable!  Now all it's missing is a baby!  I'll try to put a picture up eventually probably.  I've packed a bag for me to take to the hospital and I packed the diaper bag.  Tomorrow me and mom are going to buy the carseat.  I have been organizing and re-organizing all of the drawers in my room because I'm just trying to make things as functional as possible.  Yesterday I went to the doctor.  It was a pretty pointless visit and I wanted to cry.  All he really did was hurt me and then inform me that he couldn't reach my cervix so he couldn't tell if I was dilated.  But I did get to listen to her heartbeat again, which makes me wanna ball my eyes out everytime, but I refrained.  I'm pretty sure I am dilated because it's been pretty painful down there lately.  If you've been through this you know what I mean.  I have contractions a few times a day and every day they're a little bit stronger.  I've gotta say i've kind of enjoyed being pregnant, but now I'm ready to be not pregnant and to just have my baby girl with me already!

May 12th I'm having another baby shower.  One of my mom's friends and her daughters are throwing it for me and their inviting mostly the ladies that mom work with.  My mom's friend is a way cool lady and her oldest daughter calls me her little sister.

The 15th I'm having ANOTHER one.  My mom's sisters are throwing it and it's going to be for family and the ladies from church.  If Isabel is born by the time I have my other showers she'll just be attending them with me and I can show her off :D  With the luck in my family though she'll probably be born the day of one of my showers.  The same thing happened to my mom when she had my brother and my sister-in-law with her first son.

The 'Countdown' Begins

As of today I'm at the beginning of my 37th week :)  So approximately 4 weeks to go.  However, I don't think I'm gonna make it that 4 weeks.  I don't wanna jinx myself but I'm thinkin this baby could be here in 2.  Partly because so far in my pregnancy, I have been exactly the same as the way my mom was, and she delivered all of her babies 14-16 days early.  I'm not absolutely positive, but I'm about 90% sure that on Tuesday that mucus plug came out.  Which kind of grossed me out and so I didn't tell my doctor about it yesterday because I was kind of embarassed about it.  After my appointment, though, I told my mom and she was like "I told you that when you're pregnant your dignity goes out the window and you don't need to be embarassed."  Well, forgive me for trying to hang on to just a little bit of it.  Anyways, I guess the mucus plug can come out anytime a couple of days to a couple of weeks before labor.
Then last night I felt like the baby was pushing outwards above my belly button really really hard and so I was kind of poking my belly and telling her to move, and my mom was like "Are you contracting?"  Psh, I don't know.  The doctor asked me if I had been contracting and I was like uhhhh I don't think so, but I don't really know.  I didn't really know what it would feel like to contract I thought it would feel like menstrual cramps because someone told me once that's what it was like.  So my mom was feeling my belly and it was hard allllll overrr.  She got all excited and gave me her watch and told me to time them.  It only happened like 4 times and then I quit paying attention.
Tonight I've had maybe like 7, but I'm not really sure.  I'm still not really sure what I'm feeling for.  But I guess when it's the real thing I'll know.  I'm having my first baby shower on Sunday afternoon so I would really appreciate it if she would wait until after that haha.  I need a diaper bag and bedding for the crib, and I need to buy the carseat.  Anytime after that, I'll be ready haha.  
Goodness, we're expecting about 80 people on Sunday to come to my house.  Talk about a giant baby shower.  It's mostly because after she's born I'm going to have her blessed and then after church, traditionally, in my family we have a big barbecue.  I was planning on inviting all my friends from Utah State to it, but by then school will be over and some of my friends will have gone back to wherever they're from so they wouldn't be able to come.  New York, California, and the Dominican Republic are kind of far away to just come back for a baby shower haha.  So the baby shower on Sunday is going to be co-ed.  I'm inviting all of my friends from the University and all of the people that I used to work with at Costa Vida, because, let's face it, those ladies are some of the coolest people I've ever met!!!  There is going to be tonsss of comida.  I'm even going out on a limb when it comes to the food.  I'm not even that good at cooking American food, but I've stalked up on tortillas de maiz, carne, jalapenos, cilantro, and all that other good stuff and we're having tacos!!!  I'm even gonna try to make this yummy green salsa that my friend always makes to put on tacos.  Anyways, tomorrow me and Mom are going to go buy the rest of the groceries and I think we're gonna make all of the food except for cooking the carne because all the other stuff we can just refrigerate and set out when everyone gets here.  It's gonna be a crazy busy day.   

One Year

It's amazing how much one year can do.  A year ago today Isai and I met for the first time face to face.  As mentioned in a previous post, he pretty much had me from hello even though I wouldn't admit it.  When I think of who I was a year ago and who I am today, the difference is amazing.  Meeting him changed my life more than I could have ever imagined.  When I think of where I might be if I hadn't met him, I realize that in a way, he was my saving grace.  I've never felt about any other person the way I feel about him. 

If any of my previous boyfriends had ended up in jail awaiting their deportation, I know that I would have broken it off and that would have been the last of it.  Some people think I stayed with him just because I was pregnant.  But let the record show, that he was in jail for two months before I knew that we were expecting.  I was already planning my trip to Mexico.  I was going to go in December as soon as the semester was over to meet his family and to be with him for Christmas, and then come home in time for the spring semester.  Then I found out I was pregnant and plans were changed. 

I honestly can't remember the exact date of when we were 'official'.  But April 18 was really the day that turned my life inside out and upside down.  I can't say I'm completely happy with our current situation, being in seperate countries and all, but I don't want to know what would have happened to me if I never would have met him.  I also couldn't be more grateful for our baby girl that's on the way, and I so look forward to our future with her.

Te amo Isai Montufar, nunca lo olvides.

I took this picture of us the other day while we were talking on webcam.  Lame, I know, but it makes me feel better.

I Can't Pick a Name for Today's Post

Today is full of randomness.  I've had a few thoughts this whole week of things I could blog, so todays post has a few things in it and they really have nothing to do with each other and they all happened on different days. 

So today while my brother and my sister-in-law where at a basketball clinic two of my nephews came over to my house.  My mom and I went to the store to get some stuff for dinner and we took Mason with us.  We were planning on lasagna so we got some garlic bread to go with it.  After we got back to the house, we were watching tv and Mom looked over to the kitchen and TA-DA!!!  Mason was hunched over the bread taking bites right out of the top of it.  He was pretty proud of himself.

A few days ago I had a really crappy day.  Rumors are nasty things, people.  If you're gonna spread things around about people, at least make sure they're true.  Don't believe everything you hear, and definitely don't go making shit up about people.  I haven't got to the bottom of this most recent one, but it's probably the worst about me, yet.  Some lady, who I already have very little respect for, for other reasons, asked my friend if I was 'still' doing drugs.  My friend replied with "Still?  Josie has never done drugs in her entire life."  Well, for some reason, this lady had in her head that I used methamphetamines, specifically crystal, AND I even used to SELL IT, because someone that I was friends with had problems with drugs, so, you know, that means that I must do them to.  Okay, psycho lady, just because one person does drugs, it doesn't mean that everyone around them has to do them too.  Everyone needs a friend, and for some reason, I attract people with issues.  Just in case what I just said didn't make everything clear, I'll state this: I, Josie Perkins, have NEVER used and/or sold drugs.  Specifically, crystal meth. 

I will swear that on whatever you want me to swear it on. 

I have been associated with, I have known, and, yes, even been friends, with people that did.  This does not make me a bad person.  I, personally, don't believe it makes them bad people.  If they were ever using or selling, I was not around them, because I did not want to be involved, and they understood that.  I see what drugs do to people and to their loved ones, and I never want to put myself or anyone around me through that.

So anyways, I was having a bad day, and then my dad freaked out because, OMG!, I put a picture of my baby belly on my facebook, and for some reason that took away the 'sacredness' that comes with pregnancy.  That was just it for me so I went for a walk and I found these two really cute donkies down the road from my house.  They made me smile, so I thought I would take pictures and share them with you.  I named them Charlie and Butch. 

I decided that for my birthday I needed something exciting to happen.  So I called my sister-in-law, and she gave me a perm.  I was pretty nervous about how it was going to turn out, but TA-DA!!!  I don't know about you guys, but I love it.  When I was really little, I had curls like this naturally and my hair was red.  Maybe one day I'll post a picture.  But, most of my natural curl is gone :( Sad day.  After getting this perm, I decided that my face was structured for curls.  Plus, I talked to Isa on webcam and he loves it, so I'm keeping it. 

Oh, and speaking of my birthday, my mom ordered me two books that I've been wanting for my present and today I got the first one.  It's called American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot.  It's by Craig Ferguson :)  The second book should be here in a couple of days and it's Caramelo by Sandra Cisneros.  I read someones reviw about it on another blog and I had to have it.

Okay, one last thing.  There was an earthquake here today!!!  The epicenter wasn't all that close to where I live, it was actually on the other side of the mountains near Bear Lake I think, but it was a 5.0 and it was felt here.  I didn't get to feel it because me and mom were driving :( but whatever.  There is a fault line that goes right through the valley and is actually right underneath the school where I went to 8-9 grade haha.  It would be crazy if that place went down, but no one will be surprised if there's a big one in the valley sometime soon.

Peace out for now :) Gonna go to Walmart with my mama.

Happy Birthday to Me

As I type, it is 12:08 AM on April 12.  It's officially my 19th birthday.  Whoopee.  Not to sound pessimistic or anything, but it's not showing much promise for being a great one.  My 18th birthday was pretty great.  I'm not going into detail because I'm pretty sure my family checks up on my blog once in a while, and.....we'll just leave it at that.

So in a romantic relationship with someone, if things are going badly or you're not completely satisfied, you just break up with them right???  How come that only happens with romantic relationships?  Why don't people break up with their friends?  Currently, my best friends are not making me very happy.  They're making my life more stressful than it needs to me.  I know they're not doing it on purpose, but this is kind of a situation where nothing can really be done to make it better.  If I break up with my 2 best friends, I will have no one to hang out with ever.  However, if I stay friends with them, I might blow up at them pretty soon and they'll break up with me, because when I've finally had enough and I blow up, I'm brutally honest with people, and people generally don't like that. 
Here's the deal: it used to be the 3 of us.  Josie, Melo, and Daisy.  Now it's Josie and Melo, and Josie and Daisy.  Because they're stupid and decided to not be friends anymore over some pretty stupid shit.  And it's not like I could even take sides if I wanted to because it wasn't just one of their faults, they're both just idiots.  And I've told them this.
So anyways, today is my birthday.  Obviously, I can't spend it with Isai, and I spend every day with my family, so my next obvious choice is my 2 best friends.  Well, I can't hang out with both of them at the same time, because that would be an absolute DISASTER!!!  They both say that as long as other people are there it's okay, and they'll just ignore each other and not say anything.  I know these girls.  They might ignore each other and not say anything, but shit will be AWKWARD.  And they both make these stupid faces when people are around that they don't like and they sigh and go *ugh* under their breath a lot. 
Another problem is my baby shower.  Obviously, they both want to help plan it.  That's worked out 'okay' so far I guess.  But it's gonna be awkward when the day of the shower gets here.
BAH!  And oh my goodness, someone might die the day I deliver this baby.  I can have 2 people in the room with me.  Number one, will be my mom.  Number two would be Isa, but, as you all know, he's not exactly gonna be available.  So I've decided that I want Melo to be number 2.  Why?  Because she's been there, done that.  She's been through labor and delivered a baby, and all that fun stuff.  Melo knows I've picked her.  Daisy doesn't.  Daisy thinks I'm still trying to decide, and she thinks I should just not pick either one of them and just have my mom be there.  Well look, I love Daisy to death, okay?  But the whole time I've been pregnant she's been telling me all these little wives tales about pregnancy that she hears from her mom or her sister and every time she tells me a new one I wanna punch her in the face because I know it's bull shit.
Any of you that have been pregnant know what it's like to get advice from people that have never been pregnant.  Like when you have morning sickness and they're like 'eat some saltine crackers, it will settle your stomach.' and then you want to yell back at them 'I'M GONNA GET SOME SALTINE CRACKERS AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR NOSE!!!' or something like that.  Okay, well I don't want that kind of thing going on when I'm in labor.  I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but it's just for quick things.  If it's something that lasts and lasts and lasts, I get sick of it and I just want it to stop.  I learned this with my gal bladder attacks.  Another thing, I HATE NEEDLES.  But I sure as hell am gonna be getting an epidural!!!  Congratulations to you if you did natural labor and you handled it and people that get epidurals aren't really mothers.  Yes, congratulations, but at the same time SCREW YOU!  I will be meeddiiccaatteedd!  If not for me, for the poor bastards that are gonna have to put up with me.  And as for not being a real mother?  Okay, I carried this kid around for 9 months and now I'm gonna take care of it for another 18+ years, I am a real mother. 

Alright I'm gonna stop now.  I can tell I need to because I'm thinking in spanish, and when that happens I know I'm pushing it.  Sorry if I've offended you in some way.

P.S. Dear Melo and Daisy, If you guys read this, I'm sorry, but I had to get some of it out.  You're lucky (or maybe I'm lucky) that I left out the really personal parts, cause I still haven't exploded.  Please don't break up with me, I need you.  And if you wanna know what I would say if I exploded, just ask, cause I'll be more than happy to tell you, but just know, that whatever I say, it's because I love you and you're kind of concerning me and it's stressing me out, and you both know I don't need that.

Musica, Musica, Musica!

I can think of like a billion things to write about, I just don't really want to so we'll just see how this goes.  I started to write yesterday, but I wanted to put a video up with the post but I couldn't figure out how and I could feel ANOTHER gal bladder attack coming on, so I didn't.

Yeah.  ANOTHER gal bladder attack.  I've had 2 in the last 24 hours.  Last night I got like 4 hours of sleep.  Needless to say, I was exhausted today so I just sat around and did absolutely nothing.  Which was pretty nice.  I didn't have to worry about class because it's spring break.  Yayyy!  Except for it's snowing, which sucks big ones.

So I can't really explain to you how much I used to HATE banda music.  My friends knew not to have it on around me, because I hated it so much that I would get frustrated and I'm pretty sure my blood pressure went up.  Thanks to Isai, it's grown on me. 

For those of you who aren't familiar with banda, I don't even know how to explain it to you.  My dad calls it mariachi music.  Then again, my dad calls all music in spanish mariachi just because he doesn't know what else to call it.  To be completely honest with you (and don't tell Isa), but I'm not even sure what mariachi music is.  I just picture a bunch of guys in big hats and matching fancy outfits with tubas and trumpets and stuff.  Which is kind of what I picture when I think of the bands behind the singers of banda.  If anyone knows more about this than me, and wants to clear it up, feel free, cause I would like to know.

Anyways, music is a pretty big deal to me.  It's always been a huge part of my life.  It can bring out some pretty insane emotions in people and for some reason, to me, it's kind of mind boggling how it does it.  Seriously, think about it.  Who invented music???  When was music invented???  How did people come up with it???

I hadn't ever really thought about it in that way until my senior year in my humanities class.  It just gets my mind going.  

Anyways, I had always been kind of proud of myself because I listened to such a wide variety of music.  People would be like "I hate country" and other people would say "I hate classic rock"  a really popular one was "I hate classical music."  I have to say, I like all of the above and sooo much more.  So when I encountered banda for the first time, I was kind of confused.  I just had sooo much hate for it!  It was kind of the same thing with duranguense, but if I was listening to duranguense at a baile or something and I could dance to it, then I could put up with it.  But if they started playing banda, I would find someone to talk to and try to block it out.  

In a nut shell, I hated banda, and now I love it, and a bunch of it makes me ball my eyes out thanks to Isai cause he dedicates a new song to me almost every time we talk.  If you're not familiar with banda and for some reason you wanna check it out here's a list of some of my favorites.

Me Gusta Todo de Ti by Banda el Recodo
Porque Te Quiero by Banda el Recodo
Como Pez en el Agua by La Arolladora Banda el Limon
El Proximo Viernes by Espinoza Paz
Porque Sin Ti by Banda San Jose de Mesillas 

Okay these other 2 songs, I don't think they're banda, but I really like them.

Dame Un Besito by Intocable
Olvidalo by Beto y sus Canarios

I think as my understanding of the Spanish language improved, so did my appreciation of some of the music.  Why?  Because I knew what the songs were saying.  Before I understood the lyrics, I had a hard time connecting with the music (unless I knew how to dance to it).  Now most of the music that I didn't like before, I like now, because I understand the lyrics and most of them are love songs, so they make me all sorts of happy inside haha!.....unless they're the ones that make me cry.  Either way I like em. 

**I guess I should have been more specific.  I always liked music like reggaeton, because, well, if you like reggaeton, you know why.  You don't really have to understand every single word to get the general idea ;)  It was mostly Mexican music that I had issues with.**

World's Greatest

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is what Mother Nature did to Utah for April Fools Day.  I'm serious.  This is what we woke up to today.  It's been up to 60 degrees almost every day for the past week and all of a sudden we get hit with this.  It's days like this that I really want to be in Mexico with Isa. 

The rest of today's post is dedicated to one of the people that I look up to the very most, and my favorite woman in the world, my mom.

So today was my mom's birthday :) and I would just like to say that I hope I'm as good of a mom to Isabel as my mom has been to me.  For as long as I can remember she's been 'the cool mom'.  Not 'the cool mom' that buys beer and cigarettes for her kids and their friends.  But 'the cool mom' that everyone wanted to hang out with.  She wasn't the kind that would like take me and my friends to get our nails done or the kind that tries to dress 'hip' like her kids.  But as my friends say, she's 'the shit'.  (For those of you that don't know, being 'the shit' is a good thing.)  No matter what group of kids I've hung out with, my house has always been the place to go.  Everybody always wants to hang out at my house because my mom is so awesome.  The first time one of my friends came to my house he said, "Your house is really comfortable and it makes me feel safe.  I think it's cause your mom is so nice and she just welcomes anyone that comes and treats them like they're her own kids."  Some of my best friends have got to the point where they just call her Mom and I remember when I was younger all of my older brothers' friends called her Mom too.  Melo is teaching her baby to just call her 'Grama'. 

I've never heard anyone say anything bad about my mom.  I admire her for that, and I wish I could say the same thing about me.

The list of reasons I have for why my mom is so great, is endless, so I'll spare you for now.

I've given her a lot of shit over my short 19 years, and especially when I was in high school I don't think I appreciated her as much as I should have.  Over the last year, I feel like we've gotten a lot closer and I'm really thankful for that, because over the last 7 months I've needed her more than I think I ever have, and she's been the one person that hasn't left my side.

So I tried to make today special :).  We both had appointments this morning at the chiropractor so we went to them and then met my dad for lunch.  Mom kept asking me where I wanted to go because she knows that my stomach is still bad and I don't really have much of an appetite, (there she goes putting someone else's needs above her own.)  I just kept telling her it was her birthday so it was her choice.  She picked El Sol.  It was delicious.  They have my favorite refried beans in the world, and the only salsa that I'll eat.  Now I, along with anyone within a 5 feet radius of me, am paying for those beans.  I also have terrible heartburn from the salsa, but I'm glad Mom got what she wanted.  Then we went to my baby doctor appointment and we did some shopping for when the Easter bunny comes.  (Cause my mom is so cool, that even though the youngest in the house is 17, we still get visited by the Easter bunny.)  

Mom kept trying to decide what to make for dinner.  I told her to pick her favorite thing and I would make it.  I made sure she knew she would probably have to help me, but I would try to do all of it.  So for dinner we ended up with fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and peas :)  I was pretty proud of myself.  For her cake she made a cheese cake.  I would have made it, but we were kind of pushing it already with the fried chicken.  Grama came over for dinner and then my brother, sister-in-law, and my nephews came for cheese cake and Melo was here with her boyfriend, Jonathan.

Yesterday I cashed some of my saving bonds because I had to pay for some more stuff for school and that's what my saving bonds are for, but I used some of the money cause I wanted to get Mom something.  I bought her 2 movies: Mad Money, cause she rented it like a billion times.  And Harry and the Henderson's.  She recorded that movie off of the TV before I was born, I think, and the VHS is getting worn out.  I also got Juno, for the two of us to share.  Normally, movies might be kind of lame for a birthday gift for someone that means so much, but that's what we do.  When Dad goes out of town, Mom and I buy some chocolate milk, a couple of steaks, Mom makes homemade french fries, and we watch movies.  It's just something we've always done together.  I also got her some raisenettes.  I think they're the sickest things ever!  Putting something as wonderful as chocolate with something as disgusting as raisins should be grounds for capital punishment, but my mom loves them, so I went against my own personal morals and got her some :)

In closing, I just hope my mom knows how much I love and appreciate her, and I have no idea what I would do without her.  Love you, Mom!!!