I'm an ornery person by nature. My family knows this. The whole time I've been pregnant I've tried really hard to be civil with everyone. I've considered their opinions, I've bitten my tongue to many times to count, I know that this affects the whole family, it's not just all about me. However, I don't think they understand that last part. It's not all about me, but damn it! it's not all about them either! My mom, bless her heart, has been the only person that has been 100% behind me the whole way no matter what. She has supported every single decision I've made and she's the one that's there for me every time I have a break down and I just wanna cry.
I know that my family loves me very much, and I love them to. And I'm not going to lie, sometimes the things my brothers say are pretty damn funny, as true as they may or may not be. But it doesn't matter how many different ways or how many different sentences you put 'white girl knocked up by a deported Mexican' in, IT DOES EVENTUALLY GET OLD.
I know, I know, most pregnant women have morning sickness, and some, like me and Mom, have it their entire pregnancy. I know that once you get so fat, you can't breath when you bend over to tie shoes. I know that pregnancy is not an easy thing. But damn it my sisters-in-law had my brothers with them when they were pregnant to take care of them and to be there for them when they just needed to cry for a stupid reason. I have my mom, thank goodness, but it's just not the same as if I were with Isai. But I can't bring that up in front of everyone because "It's his fault he got deported." and "you're the one that got knocked up by someone without papers." Yeah, while all of that is true, it doesn't make shit easier. Never once have I thought Well, Josie, you did get yourself into this so you deserve everything you've got coming. Maybe that's true and maybe it's not, but they're still my family and they should still support me.
I changed my facebook status to 'engaged' today. I've been engaged for a while, I just couldn't remember where the page was to change all your stuff and I didn't really care enough to look for it. My sister-in-law commented on it with "Hmmm". I've known her since I was 6 years old and that "hmmm" said sooooo much more than just "hmmm". It said, You know what I'm thinking. This is all a bad idea and you still have so many options and you have so much of your life ahead of you that you don't need to tie yourself down with a kid AND a husband. And do you really think that he's a good choice? I mean he didn't even try to get papers, and I don't think you're telling everyone the whole story of why he went to jail in the first place.
A few hours later my brother commented on it with "congratulations". That also said a lot more than just "congratulations". To me that said What you've gotten yourself into isn't what I would have chosen for my only little sister, but I love you and it's your life so it's your decision, and I know your not an idiot so I know you'll do what you think is best. You and Ruth are both pregnant and hormonal so please ignore the 'hmmm' that she gave you and let's just get along or I'll stick snow down your pants and wedgie your underwear and tie it to your bra.
I love my brother. <3
Today my dad brought up the fact that in August I told my whole family that Isai was an idiot and that I broke up with him and then he showed up at my dad's birthday party with a tres leches and everyone was really confused. Well, Isai was being an idiot and he knows it, but I was being an idiot too and I made my fair share of mistakes. Then in October I told everyone I was pregnant. Surprise! And oh yeah, me and Isai are still together and he got arrested last month and he's in jail and he's getting deported. Yay! Oh, and that $4,000 we just spent at Utah State? You can kiss that goodbye cause I'm to sick to go to class. So I guess my family is still confused about everything, with the exception of my mom cause she's the only one that I tell everything to because she's the only one that doesn't bitch at me for everything. Oh, did I forget to tell you guys that Isai got married when he was 14 and has 2 sons in Mexico and now his ex-wife is suing him and he's getting thrown in jail in Mexico unless he can come up with a bunch of money by Tuesday? Just FYI.
I've gotta stop for tonight, I'm not sure I'm making very much sense anymore.
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